From Heartbreak to Healing: 4 Books That Changed My Life
There's something really magical about looking up from a book and realizing that you now see things a little differently. You look the same, your situation looks the same, but something inside of you has changed. Your perspective is changing. For some people it may be an abrupt change. For me, my change in perspective was slow and steady with every book that I read, building the momentum toward a complete shift in my mindset and ultimately, my life. The following books are the ones that have been most instrumental in changing my life and in helping me heal.
1- Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle
This book I read when my ex and I were still together and I was on, what I felt like was a treadmill of life, running and running and going nowhere. I honestly don't remember how I stumbled upon this gem, but I can honestly say that it changed my life forever. It was my the push I needed to take my first step from heartbreak to healing. Her brutal honesty about her journey and her commitment to, above all else, staying true to herself was an absolute inspiration to me. She dives deep into the reality of her pain in words that we can all relate to. When I finished the book I felt like she was a good friend and I felt inspired to be true to my own self. I've never read such a small book that effected my life in such a large way.
Two of my favorite quotes from the book are:
“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it's hard. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don't avoid the pain. You need it. It's meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you wtih the fuel you'll burn to get your work done on this earth.” ― Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior
“I’m trying to fix my pain with certainty, as if I’m one right choice away from relief. I’m stuck in anxiety quicksand: The harder I try to climb my way out, the lower I sink. The only way to survive is to make no sudden movements, to get comfortable with discomfort, and to find peace without answers.” ― Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior
2-You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero
This was the first book I read after we separated. It was exactly what I needed to change my focus from what had "happened" to me, to who I wanted to be and to not only continue healing, but to realize that I could actually start thriving. It was the reminder I needed that I was, in fact, a bad ass woman that could do what I wanted in life and be who I wanted. I wasn't defined by my circumstances or by any
misfortunes. I was standing at a crossroads of my life and I got to decide to take charge of what I wanted and who I wanted to be. It was a brutally honest and, at the same time, incredibly uplifting read. The best part is that I felt like she spoke to me and not at me. I've now read the book and listened to the audiobook and I've even read her book, You Are a Badass At Making Money, which I also highly recommend.
Two of my favorite quotes from the book are:
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
“So often, we pretend we’ve made a decision, when what we’ve really done is signed up to try until it gets too uncomfortable.” ― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
3-The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
Darren Hardy has a way of breaking things down that gets you to understand the enormous effect of little decisions. He incorporates stories of many people making small changes, but remaining consistent with them and seeing incredible results in time. It was a great reminder to me to not get discouraged or frustrated when I am not seeing immediate results from the positive changes that I am implementing in my life, to stay persistent and consistent and the reward will be there. It was also a reminder that the little things that I may think aren't a big deal add up quickly to make a huge difference in my life and whether or not I reach the goals I've set for myself.
Two of my favorite quotes from the book are:
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” ― Darren Hardy, The Compound Effect
“The real cost of a four-dollar-a-day coffee habit over 20 years is $51,833.79. That’s the power of the Compound Effect.” ― Darren Hardy, The Compound Effect
4- The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck by Sarah Knight
I listened to this on Audible and I was laughing out loud throughout the whole book. She forces her readers to really consider the motivation behind why they do what they do, buy what they buy, say what they say etc. Why do we fill our time and lives with so many things that we actually do not really give a f*ck about? She related it to a bank of f*cks and says that we only have so many in the bank, therefore, we need to really consider carefully how we spend them. She walks her readers through a system of wading through their priorities in a totally doable and empowering way. I felt like a proverbial weight had been lifted off of my shoulders after finishing this book.
Two of my favorite quotes from the book are:
“As someone who grew up in a household full of guilt, I think it’s important for our kids to know that they can make decisions about what to care about, and that they don’t need to pay attention to the approval or condescension of other people in deciding how to live their lives.” Right” ― Sarah Knight, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck
"Not giving a f*ck means allowing yourself to say no. I don’t want to. I don’t have time. I can’t afford it. Crucially—it means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear, and guilt associated with saying no, allowing you to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do.” ― Sarah Knight, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck
Over the last year or so of my life I have found comfort, encouragement, motivation and healing from these books. My perspective on my pain and heartbreak changed completely, allowing me, not only to heal, but to learn to be thankful for the pain and how it served me. I am, by no means perfect, but I am happy and excited about my life. My future is forever changed for the better because of these books. It is largely because of the first two books that I had the courage to book a solo trip to Italy, crossing off my number one bucket list item.
Whether it's one or all of these books, or other books that you find that speak to you, I would encourage you to just start reading today. If you're not a reader, start listening. Audible is fantastic for car rides, workouts or any even just when you're laying in bed. There is something so powerfully healing about filling your mind with positive messages and hearing how other's moved through their life struggles and heartbreaks that can't help but move us in the direction of being a better version of ourselves. Happy reading!
